Bundle of Contradictions

Wow, summer has gone by so fast...and I didn't blog much at all! Oops.

One of my friends is having a terrible time with satan. He's been feeding her lies for a while and now those lies are being brought to the light, praise God. I don't know exactly what lies...maybe I'll ask her. But this is one of satan's methods of attack. He lies, changes what is truth to something else...and today I am feeling like a bundle of contradictions, so I think I'll just write truth in my blog.

TRUTH

Jesus is the truth.

God is love.

God is sovereign.

God speaking: Behold, I lay in Zion a stumbling stone and rock of offense, and whoever believes on Him will not be put to shame.- Romans 9:33

But indeed, O man, who are you to reply against God? Will the thing formed say to him who formed it, "Why have you made me like this?"-Romans 9:20

But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name -John 1:12

For if you live according to the flesh you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. - Romans 8:13

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. -Romans 8:28

If God is for us, who can be against us?...Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?...For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels, nor principalities nor powers, no things present nor present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. -Romans 8:end

But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for the ungodly (that would be ME). -Romans 5:8

As for this bundle of contradictions, I desire to be shepherded, but then I don't like how I am being shepherded. I cry because of this present situation, yet I still procrastinate in taking action. I desire to desire God, yet I seek after food more than I seek after God.

My only hope is in Jesus. He is steadfast. Sure. Never-changing. He always remains constant. On Christ the solid Rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand. It is true.

I love you, Jesus.

Jennifer

Silly Humans

Summer is going full swing. It is great to be out of school...except I have had three school nightmares. In one, I went to school, but had no lesson plans and I did not get to eat lunch (which cost $7!) and I ran to my classroom and the kids were watching a movie...and I was glad because I had no plan but I didn't know if the movie was okay for them to watch! In another, the kids were being SO disrespectful and not listening...it was in the last few days of school so they thought it didn't matter...And in the other nightmare, I was back in student teaching with my cooperating teacher but with my kids from this year. Ah! :)

I just got a haircut...chopped off probably 8 inches. I could have chopped off a little more and donated it, but I didn't want to go too short. Maybe next time if I grow my hair out really long I can donate it. :) I like it being short...though it is still classified as being long.

So I am reading Jeremiah...usually I highlight as I go, but I stopped highlighting a few days ago so I've been flying through some chapters. Today I read chapter 44 and 45. You should read the whole book--it's good. God shows his never-ending love for His people and they show their endless sinfulness. Poor God. He loves and loves and speaks to them and blesses them and they still burn incess to other gods, worship other gods and pursue other gods. Bleh!

So all of Judah and Jerusalem has been raided by Nebuchadnezzar and the Chaldeans...but they left a remnant (out of God's mercy) of people there to tend to the vineyards and whatnot. People are corrupt and murder each other...and the remnant of that remnant runs to Jeremiah and says, "Please, go to the LORD and ask Him what we should do, and we promise we will listen to Him and do whatever He says." (This is after they ignored Jeremiah and never listened to what God said before...) Jeremiah does so and God says, "If you will remain in this land, I will build you up and plant you. I will not tear you down or uproot you. For I relent concerning the disaster that I have brought upon you. Do not be afraid of the king of Babylon for I am with you, so save you and deliver you from his hand. Do not be afraid of him. For I will show you mercy and he will show you mercy and cause you to return to your own land. But if you go to Egypt, then the sword which you feared shall come down upon you, the famine of which you are afraid will come upon you, and there you shall die! So shall it be with all the men who set their faces wholly on the land of Egypt, to dwell there. Do not go to Egypt!"

And what do the people say or do? They look at Jeremiah and say, "You are lying! You speak falsely...and we will go to Egypt!"

Silly humans. God was right every other time...why continue to not listen to him now? All of Judah and Jerusalem were carried off captive to Babylon for not listening to God, or seeking him, and for seeking and worshiping false gods...why keep up the bad record? Start listening to God!

I do the same thing...I know that God along satisfies my soul...yet I still run to other things first for satisfaction--food, acceptance from friends, sleep, love from my ishi. I am running to Egypt when God is saying, "Run to me! I love you. I will protect you! I will provide for you!"

So here's what I read today...Jeremiah is still talking to the people who are planning to go to Egypt...and God is speaking through him saying, "Look, think back of the pattern of your parents, your husband, your wife, your grandparents, your community members--they all did wickedness before my eyes. They all burned incense to other gods...even you burned incense to other gods and worshiped other gods. Please stop! You are only harming yourself."

And the people look at Jeremiah (and God) and say, "You are right. We did burn incense to other gods...to the queen of heaven. And when we did, we prospered, and it went wel with us, we were well fed. Oh how we love the queen of heaven. When we stopped burning incense to her, then things went bad, we lacked everything and we were consumed by the sword. So we are going to keep burning incense to her because she was providing for us wonderfully!?

Ah! Craziness. First off, I bet they didn't really stop burning incense to the queen of heaven...except maybe when the Chaldeans were attacking the city and carrying off all the people to Babylon.

Silly Humans...God is for you--he keeps giving you mercy and asking you to turn to Him from your evil ways...and yet you keep saying. "f-- you God, the queen of heaven is better than you."

What is the queen of heaven for me?

Who or what is that thing or person that I am tempted to say: "Things were so much better when I did ______, or when I knew _____, or when I had ______."

Whatever I insert into those blanks is my queen of heaven. What is yours?

Summer so close

With three days of school left, summer is so close. God in His amazing faithfulness has carried me through this year--the dreaded first year of teaching. I am convinced He has been at work and has brought me exactly where He wants me. I so want to reflect on this year, but so much has happened. How can I possibly give reflection justice?

Plans for the summer, Jesus willing:
Visit fam and friends in the Midwest
Desire Jesus, rely on Jesus...Seek Jesus, because He is the vine, from Him alone comes life.
Learn: Chinese, Education, Mathematics (History), nutrition, exercise...
Hang with my ishi
Serve Jesus

Many goals/plans, but only God knows what is best and what He'll allow. To know and serve Him is my top priority.

Love you Jesus
Jennifer